Nigerian Jokes

Telephone Conversation between a Yahoo Yahoo boy and potential Maga (Akpos)... Phone Rings.. . Akpos: Hello? Who am I speaking with Pls? Yahoo boy: Ah, don't u know who is calling? Akpos: No I don't, the number is restricted. Yahoo boy: How is Ligeria? Akpos: Nigeria is fine but who am I speaking with? Yahoo boy: It's your friend from London. Akpos: I have a couple of friends in London which of them is this? Yahoo boy: Just guess. Akpos: Em, is it Fatai? Yahoo boy: Yes! It's me Fatai! Akpos: Ah! Fatai! Looonggg time no see, how now? How is London? Yahoo boy: London is fine, how is Ligeria? Akpos: Nigeria dey there o, the usual wahala, Ehen! The other day I saw ur mother, she is very sick o, dat was two weeks ago, I am sure she should be dead by now.... Yahoo boy: Ah! Akpos: Yes o, your father's house in the village rain-storm blew away the roof and it landed on the old mans legs and shattered them, he is at Ogwa presently ...... Ya...

A true story from an acquaintance.... I was driving down a street along Alausa, having just finished answering a call, when a LASTMA official, suddenly, opened the passenger door, entered and jam-locked it. (The door's lock is faulty) As usual, he wanted 'something' from me for calling while driving... Suddenly, he saw the big Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the back seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him. LASTMA Official: (Shaking) Ah! You carry dog? Me: (I bone my face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense? LASTMA Official: (Feeling uncomfortable) Na where una dey come from? Me: From hospital. LASTMA Official: Ehen! you sick? Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The person almost die sef. LASTMA Official: (Terribly shaken by now) Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that? Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person. LASTMA Official: The dog know you? Me: Yes nah, no be my dog? ...

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't want to know why, so long as its still available at TFC and Tantalizers, with chips, no problemo! All these foreign jokes don taiya me! Lets have our own jokefest! RULES: When a word or sentence is given, we all strive to find hilarious jokes that use the word, situation or sentence. For example, if the word is "Warri" there can be jokes on warri people, their food, their english etc (u know say the jokes plenty about that side of naija). I hope over that next few weeks we all have fun! Don't forget to refer to any stand up comedian you are quoting o! Make dem no curse our typing fingers! Happiness to you!

Welcome to Naija!