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Showing posts from August, 2014

Never argue with a woman

Never argue with a woman, just use your brains like this Waffi guy.

A man went on a night out with his friends the wife is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him.

At about 12 midnight the man comes back and knocks...the Wife tells him "Go sleep where you dey come from o!!"

Judging by her tone of voice that her fury is about to overflow,the man answered "Relax I no com sleep, nah the condoms wey dey on top table for my room I come collect. In fact give them to me. Plenty women dey for the party!"

The wife opened the door and said,"Where you dey go? Oya Enter o! Come inside the house before I change my mind!"

The Government Concept

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what The Government is.

When Benny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked his dad what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, our maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded Benny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' Benny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Benny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Benny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked th…

Find the Water

A Nigerian, an American and a German boarded a plane.

As the plane was flying over the sea satan came out and said to them:
"I want you to drop something into the sea, if I find it you die and if I don't, you live."

The American quickly plucked a button from his shirt and threw it into the sea. Satan dived into the sea and came up with the button.
 ''see!'' he said, and killed the American.

The German threw a Pin into the sea, Satan dived and came out with the Pin.
 ''See!'' he said and killed the German.

The Nigerian brought out a pure water sachet, opened it and poured the contents into the sea holding back the sachet, he said to Satan, ''Oya begin find water inside water...Idiot''.

Even the devil bowed in defeat.

Amaka's Husband

I just had to share this one....
Teacher: "Amaka, What do u wanna be in life?"
Amaka: "A successful multi billionaire business woman."
Teacher faces Akpos.
Teacher: "Akpos what of you?"
Akpos: "Amaka's husband"

Genie on the beach

The story is told of a woman walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman soon came back to her senses and asked if she got three wishes. The Genie said,
"Nope. . . due to inflation, constant downsizing, fierce global competition, and low wages in third-world countries, I can only grant you one wish. So, . . . what'll it be?" The woman didn't hesitate. She said,
"I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want Israel and Palestine to stop fighting with each other. " The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed,
"Gadzooks, Lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for centuries. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish. " The woman thought for a minute and said,
"Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one t…