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Showing posts from September, 2014

Potatoe Planting

An old farmer wrote to his son who was in prison "...I won't be able to plant potatoes and other things this year because I can't dig the field, I know if you were here you would have helped me."

The son wrote back, "Dad, don't even think of digging the field do you want to expose me? That's where I buried the money I stole."

The police read the letter before delivering it to the father, and the next day the whole field was dug by police but nothing was found.

The following day the son wrote to his father again, "Now you can plant your potatoes Dad, your farm has been dug for you."

Haircut

Today's my birthday, here's a gift for you:

A guy stuck his head into a barber's shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "In 2 hours." The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour only." The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, "Sunday, please help me. Follow that guy and see where he goes.
He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back".

A little while later, Sunday returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So where does that guy go whe…

Egyptian Excursion

The students of Warri Grammar School went on excursion to Egypt. On the tomb of Pharaoh was written "1102BC".

The teacher now asked "who knows what this means?"
 Nobody except Akpos raised his hand but the teacher was not comfortable and pretended not to take notice of him.
She then asked again and yet only Akpos' hand was still up.

So she allowed him to answer. Akpos said "Na Pharaoh BB Pin be that"

Akpos and the Yahoo boy

Telephone Conversation between a Yahoo Yahoo boy and potential Maga (Akpos)...

Phone Rings...

Akpos: Hello? Who am I speaking with Pls?

Yahoo boy: Ah, don't u know who is calling?

Akpos: No I don't, the number is restricted.

Yahoo boy: How is Ligeria?

Akpos: Nigeria is fine but who am I speaking with?

Yahoo boy: It's your friend from London.

Akpos: I have a couple of friends in London which of them is this?

Yahoo boy: Just guess.

Akpos: Em, is it Fatai?

Yahoo boy: Yes! It's me Fatai!

Akpos: Ah! Fatai! Looonggg time no see, how now? How is London?

Yahoo boy: London is fine, how is Ligeria?

Akpos: Nigeria dey there o, the usual wahala, Ehen! The other day I saw ur mother, she is very sick o, dat was two weeks ago, I am sure she should be dead by now....

Yahoo boy: Ah!

Akpos: Yes o, your father's house in the village rain-storm blew away the roof and it landed on the old mans legs and shattered them, he is at Ogwa presently ......

Yahoo boy: Shuuooooo:O!

Akpos: ....yes…

The Fisherman and the fish

WIFE: Honey before we got married, you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry.
HUSBAND: Yes, and?
WIFE: How come you don't do it anymore?
HUSBAND: Have you ever seen a fisherman giving worms to the fish after catching it?